This Common Speaking Habit Is Draining All Your Negotiating Power

“John – we are receiving some feedback about the team and their presentation style. In particular we get comments about the inflection of their voice going up at the end. Can you work on this with folks on the team?”

Uncertain Language vs. Command Language 

This is something I see a lot. I call it “uncertain language,” vs. “command language.” Let me explain. The problem with using voice inflection at the end of a sentence when it is not a question is that it makes your statement sound like a question, even though it isn’t, and you come across as uncertain. That dramatically reduces the perception of your status and power.

Saying your statement isn’t a question isn’t the complete truth. Often, when your voice tone goes up at the end of a statement there is an implied question. It’s usually something like “do you agree?” “Am I being understandable?” “Are you okay with this?” “Can we just all get along?” or some desire for approval and connection. It can makes you sound like you’re uncertain, and/or lower status than you actually are. 

When you’re speaking; when you’re the host, or tour leader, or speaking to groups of people, your listeners want to believe that you know what you’re talking about. They like to know that you’re in charge and that you’ve got things handled. Going up at the end of your sentences robs you of that.

Lower, Slower and Louder

There is a discipline called Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). Pseudo-science? Maybe so, but I’ll take things that work from wherever they may come. NLP has something to offer here.

One of the ways you can be more effective and persuasive is to begin consciously using embedded commands. Embedded commands allow you to make powerful suggestions by embedding them indirectly within longer statements.  One key step to doing this is making your voice subtly lower, slower and louder when you embed the command.

NLP calls this technique analog marking. In NLP analog communication is nonverbal communication, while words are referred to in NLP as digital communication. Analog communication goes back to our earliest communication; pre-language communication. Sound and movement. 

When you use analog marking to communicate some part of what you’re saying, the unconscious mind notices and understands your communication differently than the conscious mind does. And, when you use sounds and movement the unconscious mind pays special attention. Body language, movement, voice tone, volume, speed and so on. And, you’re always using analog marking. The question I ask myself is whether it’s supporting my message, or my insecurity.

Commands vs Questions

The difference between “you’re going now.” and “you’re going now?” is pretty obvious. What is less obvious is that when you go up at the end of something you do not intend to be a question it sends a very strong signal to the unconscious mind of the listener and has as big an impact on your credibility as the question mark vs. the period has in the sentences above.

Here are a few examples of embedded commands.

  • “I’m here to talk with you and I want you to feel good about yourself”- I might mark “feel good” by saying it slightly louder, slower and with a downward pitch to my voice.
  • “You definitely don’t have to accept what I’m saying if you don’t want to.” “Accept what I’m saying” could be marked by making an open hand gesture.
  • “Would you tell me your story sometime?” I could mark “tell me your story” with a subtle body movement closer to the person. 

To be effective your statements must be statements, not questions. We understand a rising tone at the end of a sentence to be the marker of a question. Going up at the end of a non-question sentence sends the message that you have a question. If the sentence isn’t actually a question then the non-language message is still that there is a question, and it becomes a question about your credibility, or status or knowledge, or some other factor that you don’t intend to call into question!  

The Bottom Line

A question has a rising tone; the inflection goes up at the end of the sentence. A statement has no change in inflection at the end; it is flat. And, a command (this can be a subtle command) goes down at the end of the sentence; it has a downward inflection at the end. And, command language is very powerful. Going down at the end of your sentences gives them extra impact. You can’t do it all the time or you’ll sound silly, but if you take on speaking in command language you will avoid unsure language. And, that will have you sounding more powerful everywhere in your life. 

Tech

Research Shows That Companies That Do This One Thing Increase Worker Productivity by 25%

When we think productivity, we rarely think of workplace design as a major contributor or detractor, but compelling ongoing research shows that it plays a much larger role than initially thought. According to research published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, an empowered office environment can increase worker productivity on cognitive tasks by 25%, and possibly more.

Workspace design today is undergoing a major creative shift. We’ve gone from cubicles (people are productive in isolation) to open-plan spaces (collaboration leads to success) to what I believe is the next major step – integrated multi-function design which recognizes that people need multiple spaces based on their ongoing and changing needs within a business day.

Instead of looking out across rows of cubicles, today’s office worker needs a mix of team meeting rooms, open lounge-like areas, and private workspaces.

This is the “empowered office” – an office in which workers can choose their work environment. It’s a design concept that’s gaining traction – and not only because it creates more pleasant workspaces. It also has a powerful influence on worker productivity.

Great office design isn’t just for startups anymore

Major tech companies and Silicon Valley startups were among the first to embrace the concept of the empowered office. The New York Times recently highlighted Microsoft for its forward-thinking office designs, which incorporate everything from “isolation rooms,” or soundproof private spaces, to comfy central lounges with large tables and couches.

What’s really exciting, however, is that this way of thinking about space – specifically, about the ways that spaces influence behavior – is becoming more mainstream.  

“The great thing we are seeing, as far as transformative spaces in the workplace, is that these principles are being adopted across all disciplines – all fields and industries,” says Architectural Designer Jared Skinner, co-founder at MADE Design. “Companies are realizing that these best practices are bolstering not only creative collaboration – often seen as a soft skill, but productivity and results. It’s impacting the bottom line.”

Striking the perfect balance between privacy and collaboration

When it comes to progressive, transformative workspaces. some of the most successful companies have been the ones that aren’t afraid to experiment.

At Microsoft, for example, designers began testing open team workspaces in one specific area in one building. Through experimentation, they learned that the spaces they’d started with were too open – they were built for 16 to 24 software engineers, and those who worked in them found them to be too loud and distracting.

Working with that knowledge, Microsoft then adjusted those team spaces till they held just 8 to 12 engineers, which the company – and more importantly, the employees – believe to be ideal.

To achieve higher productivity, then, companies must embrace the need for creativity and flexibility. They must allow themselves to try out new configurations and change them as needed, adding in more private spaces, perhaps, or bringing in standing desks, or creating smaller collaborative work stations.  

Workspace design must embrace our digital, connected reality

Just as today’s consumers are constantly connected, so are today’s workers. What’s more, they’re mobile – work no longer has to be tied to a desk or an office.

When designing workspaces, it’s crucial to take these realities into account. But it takes more than an espresso machine or a pingpong table to make your workspace truly progressive, and thereby productive. If you’re not baking the principles of empowerment, connectedness, and mobility into your office design at its most basic level, then you can easily end up with a workspace that feels gimmicky and disingenuous.

That’s not to mention that you won’t be reaping the real productivity benefits of empowered office design.

Integrated design is a must for attracting talent – especially among Millennials and Gen Z

Millennials and members of Generation Z take connectivity for granted in their workspaces, so companies that want to truly stay ahead of the pack must go further.

We need to create designs that engage members of these generations. This isn’t the old model of engagement, either – Millennials and Gen Zers have a completely unique approach to engaging with spaces that’s based on more than just technology. To be successful, companies must keep these new sensibilities in mind as they design or renovate their workspaces.

This shift in workplace design is both responding to and influencing the new ways we’re defining work in the digital age. It’s an incredibly exciting time to be working at the intersection of design and branding, as we do at MADE.

To quote my co-founder, Jared Skinner, once more: “We’re living in an evolve-or-die day and age. Smart companies are being proactive and taking initiative to welcome this much-needed change.”

Tech

When She Couldn't Find a Hairstylist, This Founder Took Matters Into Her Own Hands

When you’re in a new town, whether it be for travel or work, not only do you have to settle in, you have to find all-vendors to handle your services: from a dry-cleaners to where to grab a pizza to where to get a haircut. Most founders build something because they have personal experience with a pain-point and see an obvious gap in the market. Maude Okrah, Founder and CEO of Bonnti is no different. She recently sat down with Project Entrepreneur and explained.

Project Entrepreneur: What inspired you to start your business?

Okrah: It was entirely personal reasons that inspired me to go on this entrepreneurial journey. I’ve been lucky to travel to a number of different cities and countries for work.

As a black woman, our hairstylists are a big part of our lives and finding a good one helps to adjust to a new city that much easier! However, I really struggled with the process of finding good stylists in each new city I went to. I had so many bad experiences with all the different stylists.

If I can get on my phone and order a Lyft, shop for new clothes, and get my groceries delivered why can’t I find a great hairstylist with the same ease? This frustration and desperate need for a solution led to the founding of Bonnti – a mobile app that allows women of color the opportunity to find stylists, discover styles and build community all within a convenient and fun platform.

What’s been the biggest challenge you’ve faced so far?

The biggest challenge I’ve faced so far is learning and becoming fluent in the language of tech. As a non-technical founder, there have been quite a few hurdles I’ve had to face when it comes to app development. I’ve had a crash course in the world of tech.

What is the biggest thing you’d like to see changed in your industry, and how are you working toward making that change happen?

I’d love to see more women, especially women of color, dive deeper into the tech world and come up with solutions to solve the unique everyday problems we face.

I’ve learned so much throughout this entrepreneurial journey that I’d be remiss not to share it with any other woman who even shows an inkling of interest in this field.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give to another entrepreneur just starting out?

It’s all about the 3Ps: patience, persistence, and passion. While the entrepreneurial world is very fast-paced, you have to learn there are times where you have to exercise patience, as stressful as that may be, follow your intuition.

You have to remain persistent. No matter how many no’s you get in one day, even in the face of rejection you have to keep trying.

You also have to love what you do; be obsessed with it! This space is a roller-coster, there are high levels of ambiguity and if you don’t have passion you may not survive.

This article originally appeared on the Project Entrepreneur website and has been condensed for clarity.

Tech

Every Fast-Growing Company Knows This…. The Customer Must Come First

How many times have you walked into a restaurant with plenty of free tables, only to have wait while a waiter busily cleared the dishes left behind by departed diners from another table? How many times have you gone up to a check-out counter ready to make a purchase and stood unhelped by a salesperson who was engrossed in reshelving inventory that others had not chosen to take home? How many times have you watched someone field a personal phone call instead of reaching out to a customer in her midst? Undoubtedly, the answer is countless. Why? Because many business owners have either never understood or somehow forgotten, the importance of putting the customer first. I have found that keeping this one idea–that of framing everything my company does in terms of the customer’s needs–at the heart of my business strategy has netted growth at every stage of my business. Here are some simple ways I do so.

Ask employees to handle customers before inventory. Regardless of how messy your shelves may look, how many tables are left uncleared, or how many items need to be restocked, all of those issues will be there long after your customer is gone. Help your customer first, and put every other task behind him in line. You don’t want to let your customer walk out the door empty-handed because you’re engaged in something other than seeing to his needs. You have his attention for as long as he is willing to give it to you, and that depends entirely on how important, valuable, and significant you make him feel.

Instruct staff that, when on the clock, their personal lives take a backseat to the customer’s experience. People seem to blur the lines of personal and professional more and more every day, and when they get caught up in their own interests, they forget everything else around them. Ask employees to put away their phones, table intra-staff conflicts, and silence any unnecessary chatter when customers are within eyesight and earshot. A customer should never be made to feel like a burden, an interruption, or downright uncomfortable when he is visiting your company and considering buying something.

Prioritize a customer who is ready to purchase over everything else. Deciding to purchase is a very emotional experience. It’s when a customer feels most vulnerable because he is about to hand over his money and he wants to know he is giving it to a company that deserves it. Take him in hand quickly, so he feels reassured that he is making the right decision. Whether this means accompanying him to the point of purchase, showing you are ready to take his order immediately, or just asking if he needs help, the important thing is to be alert, attentive, and accommodating.

Customers are precious. They walk through our doors fleetingly, unless we are prepared for their arrival, forthcoming with our help, and devoted to their needs. It is only by peaking their interest, earning their support, and winning their business that we can grow.

Tech

This Brilliant Video From a Famous Company's Lawyers Is a Hilarious Masterstroke in Persuasion

Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.

What is it about lawyers these days?

Have they suddenly realized that coming over all human actually works with, well, humans?

Last week, Netflix’s lawyers sent a quite brilliant cease-and-desist email that must have made even the recipients laugh.

Now along comes another bunch of lawyers with a gripe and a heart.

The lawyers at Velcro are a little miffed that people think they own Velcro shoes and, perish the very concept, Velcro wallets.

Who needs a wallet, never mind a Velcro wallet?

The problem is that the more people ascribe every Velcro-like thing as a Velcro-thing, Velcro’s brand name gets tarnished, even though it lost its patent 40 years ago.

The technically correct terminology for most of those “scratchy, hairy fastener” things is, well, anything but Velcro. Hook and Loop is the acceptable generic term, apparently.

Or, as one quasi-lawyers calls it here: “F***ing Hook and Loop.”

There are trademark laws being broken, insist the lawyers. You have to change your behavior. Please.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention, I learned all about this from a music video the company released today.

It purports to show a group of disgruntled Velcro lawyers singing of their pain and begging you to please cease and desist.

What would Velcro be if it lost its registered trademark, the famous “circled R”? It would be just another Velcro brand.

I know they feel strongly about this, as several times throughout this marvelous anthem they swear in a sing-song voice.

Still, this isn’t without its hiccups.

“We aren’t just doing this for us,” says a (possibly) real lawyer half way through the video. “We’re doing this for all the successful brands that got so popular that people started using their brand names the wrong way.”

Oh, poppycock, sir. You’re doing it for you. You’re doing it for the very reasons these fine lawyerish actors are singing about. And it’s good.

So do please stop getting defensive or I’ll give you and your brand the hook-and-loop.

I have no idea whether this idea will stick, but you have to admire the gusto with which Velcro has tried. I can only hope the song catches on.

Naturally, I now wait for all America’s lawyers to grow a sense of humor.

I look forward to them sending letters to people they are suing that read: “Look, we know you owe our clients money. But when we met you for the deposition, you seemed like such a funny person. So why don’t we just go and watch an NBA game together (our client’s paying) and forget all about it?”

Or perhaps: “Yes, you live in Colorado and you appear to have infringed our trademark. However, I see that your governor’s name is Hickenlooper. If you can get him to change it to Hookandlooper, we’ll let you off.”

A man can dream.

Tech

You May Never Meet a Space Alien. Science Says This Common Creature Comes Close

If you’ve ever read a science fiction novel or watched an episode of Star Trek, you’ve probably wondered: What would it really be like to meet a being from another planet face to face? You may think you can only answer this question through imagination, but it turns out scientists have discovered something fairly similar: the octopus.

This is not as ridiculous as it may sound. If a space alien landed on Earth, he, she, or it would be a) intelligent (or it wouldn’t have gotten here); and b) no genetic relation whatsoever to human beings. It turns out that octopuses fulfill both conditions. In fact, they’re the most intelligent creature with the least genetically in common with humans on the planet, according to Peter Godfrey-Smith, professor at City University of New York and the University of Sydney, and author of Other Minds: The Octopus, the Sea, and the Deep Origins of Consciousness.

“A real alien would be a sentient being with no common ancestry with us at all, arising completely independently,” he told Quartz. It would be great if we get to meet one someday, he added, but the chances don’t look that good. If we don’t, he said, “the octopus is our best approximation because there’s a historical connection but it was a long time ago.”

Make that a very long time. Our last common ancestor, according to Godfrey-Smith, was some sort of leech or flatworm, 600 million years ago. That’s more than twice as long ago as when dinosaurs first emerged. Since then, octopuses and humans have evolved along completely different paths, resulting in two completely different species that both have intelligence.

How intelligent are octopuses? Based on their number of neurons, they’re probably not as smart as a human, but they’re pretty damned smart. Octopuses in labs have shown they can open jars, even when two of them have to work together to do it. They’re known to recognize individual humans, even humans wearing identical uniforms. (That’s pretty smart. Ask yourself if you’d be able to pick an individual octopus you’d seen before out of a crowd.)

Octopuses will squirt water at a light that’s annoying them until the light short-circuits–one did it so many times that the frustrated aquarium released it back to the ocean. They’re known to play and decorate their homes. They’re uncannily good at finding what they want. Some marine biologists once left a lobster in one tank and an octopus in another tank across the room overnight, only to discover in the morning that the octopus had climbed out of its tank, crossed the lab, eaten the lobster, and returned to its tank again.

And what would you do if you were capture and held in a lab for study? You’d try to get away, right? Octopuses do that too, in fact they’re known to be extremely good at it. They’re always climbing out of tanks and trying to get away. In the most famous such escape, a popular octopus named Inky climbed out of his tank when the lid was left slightly askew, slithered across the floor, and slid down a 50-foot drainpipe into the Pacific Ocean and freedom.

Not like you and me.

But if octopuses have amazing intelligence, they’re just not anything like us, or any of the other intelligent mammals we’re familiar with. Begin with the fact that they can change colors at will, to blend in perfectly with their surroundings when they want camouflage, but also to express their feelings and perhaps their thoughts. One journalist reported interacting for a while with a female octopus in an aquarium, then turning around and finding her boyfriend in a neighboring tank, colored bright red and floating in front of him with a malevolent look.

As vertebrates, we live with a very specific skeletal structure, but octopuses and other cephalopods are invertebrates, able to change shape and squeeze through a hole only slightly larger than one of their eyes. We also have know exactly where our brains are and we assume that our brains do all of our thinking for us. Octopuses, on the other hand, have neurons throughout their arms, which means they have intelligence throughout their bodies. In fact, the majority of their neurons are in their arms, not in their brains. Fascinating experiments have shown that an octopus’s limbs can act both, as ours do, on instructions from their brains, or independently without any centralized input. Unlike humans, their entire bodies are intelligent, and there is no distinction between the parts of them that think and the parts of them that move. And if all that isn’t weird enough, they also have three hearts.

But if octopuses are completely different from us, they’re also as curious about us as we are about them, or maybe more so. When you meet one underwater, it will often unfurl one of its arms and explore your arm and your equipment, tasting and learning about you as it goes. Godfrey-Smith describes one dive where an octopus grabbed a fellow diver’s hand and led him across the sea floor like “a very small eight-legged child” until they arrived at the octopus’s den. Octopuses watch us and always seem to know when we’re watching them–even through a scuba mask–and when we’re not.

All this leaves us with a few questions. Should we be capturing these creatures and keeping them in tanks? And, most especially, should we be eating them for dinner, as is increasingly popular in the finest seafood restaurants? Some argue that perhaps we should not. You have to wonder–if we do meet creatures from another planet someday, will we eat them, too?

Here’s a video of an octopus leading a diver home to its den:

Tech

Driverless Cars in Pittsburgh, Tattoos Control iPhones and Other Small Business Tech This Week

Here are five things in technology that happened this past week and how they affect your business. Did you miss them?


Cloud Computing

IBM’s cloud CTO: ‘We’re in this game to win’

IBM saw from the get-go that the cloud was going to cause a major disruption to its business.

“We knew it was a massive opportunity for IBM, but not in a way that necessarily fit our mold,” said Jim Comfort, who is now CTO for IBM Cloud. “Every dimension of our business model would change — we knew that going in.”

Change they have, and there’s little denying that the cloud businesses is now a ray of sunshine brightening IBM’s outlook as its legacy businesses struggle. In its second-quarter earnings report last week, cloud revenue was up 30 percent for the quarter year over year, reaching $ 11.6 billion. Revenue from systems hardware and operating systems software, on the other hand, was down more than 23 percent.

To read this article in full or to leave a comment, please click here


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RIP VHS: World’s Last VCR Will Be Made This Month

Be warned, vintage videophiles: Japan’s Funai Electric, a company that claims to be the last manufacturer of videocassette recorders (VCRs), will manufacture its last VHS player this month.


Cloud Computing

Space Photos of the Week: Watch It. This Star’s Bustin’ Out

Space Photos of the Week: Watch It. This Star’s Bustin’ Out

Space photos of the week, May 29–June 4, 2016. The post Space Photos of the Week: Watch It. This Star’s Bustin’ Out appeared first on WIRED.
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This app teaches Australia about its 500 Indigenous first nations

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When Kevin Rudd was prime minister of Australia, Ngarluma man Tyson Mowarin was struck that the Mandarin-speaking leader could say hello at the foot of the Great Wall of China, but could not say hello in the local indigenous language at the foot of Uluru.

Using Welcome to Country, his free iOS app that uses geo-location to deliver users cultural information about Aboriginal groups indigenous to the area, Mowarin told Mashable Australia he hopes to ensure all Australians know as much about the country’s native people as they do about countries across the ocean.

More about Tyson Mowarin, Apps, Welcome To Country, Australia, and Tech


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This Argument for Why Apple Needs to Help the FBI Is Straight-Up Insane 

San Bernardino County District Attorney Michael Ramos has an, um, unusual take on why Apple should assist the FBI by creating software to help unlock a suspect’s iPhone: If Apple doesn’t, he argues, the county may never know if it is threatened by a “dormant cyber pathogen.”

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This airplane’s wings fold up so you can take it on your next camping trip

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The ICON A5 bills itself as a plane for anyone and everyone: perfect for weekend camping trips, impressing a date, or just flying around New York City.

The experimental personal aviation market is not new: There’s the miniscule Flynano, the Terrafugia flying car and the eco-friendly Synergy. But the ICON A5 is unique in that its main selling point is its safety.

Instead of relying on “perfect pilots who can recover from emergency situations,” the ICON A5 developed “spin resistance.” This summer the aircraft earned received a Light Sport Aircraft airworthiness certificate from the FAA. Read more…

Flying for dummies

More about Travel, Tech, Air Travel, Travel Leisure, and Icon A5


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This Uber-Popular USB Battery Pack Probably Costs Less Than Your Lunch

KMASHI’s cheap battery packs are some of the most popular items we’ve ever posted, and their well-reviewed 10,000mAh model is back down to just $ 9 today (with code MHLSNM2R), matching all-time low.

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This Delaware entrepreneur used to run an ISP out of his home

Kahn became founder and CEO of The First Street Corporation, which offered web hosting, dialup service, circuits and support to clients. Kahn serviced the servers himself, developed the company website himself, managed and maintained the equipment …


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This Guy Makes Art Out of Sloppy Photoshop Disasters

People spend years mastering the tools of Photoshop. They labor arduously to create seamless images with no trace of manipulation. Lucas Blalock labors arduously as well. But in his art, the artifacts of cutting, duplicating, and transforming become the very backbone of the finished product.

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This New Tool Helps Designers Find Better Insights

This New Tool Helps Designers Find Better Insights

10,000ft Insights is a new tool for desktop and tablet that clarifies the design process.

The post This New Tool Helps Designers Find Better Insights appeared first on WIRED.



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Silicon Valley’s Hottest Startup Incubator Takes On This Indian Venture

Just one year ago, Indian e-coupon aggregator LafaLafa.com was barely a blip in the mind of, well, anyone. It’s been quite the year though – testament to the booming tech environment in India, they’re one of the privileged few to be on their way to be accelerated by one of Silicon Valley’s hottest startup incubators.


Cloud Computing

This Batshit Crazy Company Wants to Build Mobile Private Islands

Yachts are for chumps. People who really know how to spend their money get submersible yachts from Migaloo, a mysterious company that offers five different models of underwater palaces. But true evil villains just go for the Migaloo’s crown jewel: Kokomo Ailand.

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Bring your company’s ‘dark data’ to light with this free new tool from Tamr

All the analytics tools in the world won’t do a company much good if it doesn’t know what data it has to analyze. Tamr offers a free, downloadable tool designed to help tackle that “dark data” problem.

Dark data generally refers to all the information an organization collects, processes and stores but doesn’t use for analytics or other purposes. It’s often unstructured or qualitative data that’s harder to keep track of than numerical data is, and by research firm IDC’s reckoning, it can account for as much as 90 percent of an organization’s information assets.

To read this article in full or to leave a comment, please click here


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Bring your company’s ‘dark data’ to light with this free new tool from Tamr

All the analytics tools in the world won’t do a company much good if it doesn’t know what data it has to analyze. Tamr offers a free, downloadable tool designed to help tackle that “dark data” problem.

Dark data generally refers to all the information an organization collects, processes and stores but doesn’t use for analytics or other purposes. It’s often unstructured or qualitative data that’s harder to keep track of than numerical data is, and by research firm IDC’s reckoning, it can account for as much as 90 percent of an organization’s information assets.

To read this article in full or to leave a comment, please click here


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I’m Mike Rowe, Host of Somebody’s Gotta Do It, and This Is How I Work

For years Mike Rowe has been traveling across the country to meet people whose laborious, often thankless work keeps the world moving forward. And across different shows and different television networks, what has remained consistent is Mike’s sincere curiosity and willingness to learn.

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